Blogging against Disablism

I just read this on another friend's blog that today, May 1, is not only 'May Day', but also a day for bloggers to speak up (and out!) about injustices that we've witnessed or known about to the world of folks who have a disability. So, here's my attempt to explain why "Downs kid" drives me completely over the edge of typical reaction straight into full blown Irish temper....

I have been blessed as a mom to Dominic for almost 4 yrs now and have been just as blessed to be Paige's mom (going on 14 yrs-yikes!) and Makela's mom (almost at the 8 yr mark). The difference is that rarely have people brought out the 'mama bear' for Paige and Makela but with Dom, it seems second nature. Someone always seems to know what 'those kids' can do or what a "downs baby" will act like- even to the point of having doctors, yes DOCTORS (you know those people that went to school for a medical degree to care for all human beings accurately and justly?) say in response to an illness that Dom has "well, Downs kids have issues with that-what do you expect to happen?"....Um, try maybe a medical diagnosis of what's wrong with my son other than you being stuck on the fact that he has an extra chromosome? My son has an extra chromosome but it doesn't define who he is anymore than having cancer defines a person battling that monster. So try to remember, Dom's a boy first- then that he has that extra chromosome. You want to call him 'that orney boy' or 'that smiley kid'- I'm all for that! That actually represents him a lot better than 'downs child'.....

My oldest had such a horrible time last year in 6th grade with the word retarded being used in the school- especially with two boys in particular...Then it started again this year in 7th grade but with more intensity than in the past year- these two boys were specifically harrassing my sweetheart :( She was coming home in tears almost daily because she was soo mad....ended up getting in trouble for destruction of another's property, which was really the last straw for me not getting involved. I showed her a few pieces that folks had written about the r-word and told her that if it was that upsetting- she could do one of two things: nothing and continue to cry about or make a change for the better. Here is the letter Paige wrote to her principal to get the r-word classified as 'cussing' with the same ramifications.....I think my 13 yr old said it more eloquently than I ever could so without further ado, here's her letter:

Dear Dr. XXX

I am very concerned about the use of the word retarded at XXXX Middle School. When I am in the hallway I hear people saying, "You're retarded" and the teacher or teachers that were around just said "Don't say that word in school" and then they walked away. I think this is wrong because if we get detentions for cussing in school I think we should do the same for the word retarded because it still offends people like me and many other people. When someone around me would say the word retarded I would ask them to not say it and when I told them the definition they would say "That isn't what it means it means....."Stupid, dumb, idiotic, and slow are just some of the definitions that I got.

My friends help me understand that not everyone can be as well informed as I am about my baby brother Dominic who has Down Syndrome. He is three and a couple of times at XXX school when I have told a class about him, or when I did a essay on him after class or even during class, some students would call him a retard which he isn't. That is wrong because almost anytime I hear someone say it and a teacher is around all they do is talk to the student or students who said it. Nothing else happens as punishment. Today for instance in my fifth hour class I asked the person sitting next to me to not say that word in front of me and she apologized, but right after she apologized, someone behind me said it and then another student repeated it. After I asked them to stop they just laughed and kept using it and then when I told the teacher about she asked them to stop saying it. Then after she had just got done saying to stop, they kept saying it. The teacher didn't do anything about it. I really hope you will consider changing when someone says retard or retarded that they get a detention or at least get a traffic ticket. Thank you Dr. XXX for your time and consideration.


For those of you wondering, yes the policy was changed at her school and she felt empowered by being able to do something about it :)